So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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