Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
