Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
