dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
