Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Alive.
So much puke
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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