Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
