She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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