I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
