bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize