I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
