I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
