so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
