I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
