why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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