Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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