He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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