I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We are two peas in an std pod
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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