xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
