So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
