I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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