yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
