the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I bet he comes in French.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dick very happy bro
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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