just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
