I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
