2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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