somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
