Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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