farters have to be the big spoon...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, beer. Big fan.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
