oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
