dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
