k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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