I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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