they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
