to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
