Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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