My brain says no but my pants say off.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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