Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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