...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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