You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
