proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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