is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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