Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
