Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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