I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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