why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
