She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
