rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
