I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
