Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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