fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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