you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
